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Bangkok for Beginners

If we were asked to represent three South-East Asian capitals by tropical fruits, we might think of clean, green Singapore as a fresh lime, and richer-flavoured Kuala Lumpur, perhaps as a ripe pineapple. Employing this imagery, the association that immediately springs to mind for Bangkok is the king of tropical treats,  the delicious, delightful and delectable durian.

Granted, this head-sized botanical wonder with its thick spiky skin and soft yellow flesh, is very much an acquired taste. It is like a smelly cheese is to a connoisseur, and the fruit's initial effect on a novice's nostrils can be just as overwhelming as the first impressions of the Thai capital on an unsuspecting new arrival, fresh from Don Muang airport.

The oft-intoned "Wow, they stink before even being peeled" is indeed true, and it is this fact which effectively bans the offending fruit from enclosed public spaces. Even following a durian-laden truck in a closed air-conditioned coach can fill the vehicle with more than just a tolerable whiff. "Hey, how can people eat this thing?" is a common question, posed almost as frequently as "Hey, how can anybody actually live in Bangkok?"

But beware, like the durian, Bangkok can be habit-forming. The teeming 220-year old Thai city not only has a strong and unique flavour, it possesses a potentially highly addictive mix of subtle qualities, which once experienced, can lure visitors back, time and again. "Aye, this is our 14th trip" I overheard an elderly Scots couple say to some fresh-faced honeymooners on a neighbouring pool bed the other day, adding: "Ye can get a real taste fir it"

Aye, and they are not alone. Hotels all over the city will tell you of again-and-again-guests who have become close friends of staff and management through repeated, often annual, visits. Given the air and noise pollution, the motorised chaos, and the often searing temperatures, it is not easy for "outsiders" to understand the attraction. Even if you ask those geriatric aficionados why they keep coming back, they tend to reply in non-specifics. "Oh, we just love it here" is a common response. If you dig deeper, it may be followed by any or all of the following:- the people, the food, the temples, the river, the canals, the smiles, the charm, the smells, the friendliness and the friends made, the sounds, the shopping, the atmosphere......and the magic. Don't forget the magic.

Years ago, I had to entertain some VIP British tourists to dinner. On meeting the middle-aged couple in the hotel lobby bar, they greeted me grumpily by blurting that they'd just arrived, hated what they had observed on the way from the airport, and had absolutely no desire to venture out at night into "this bloody awful place." Instead, they wanted to eat a "nice steak and chips" in the hotel grill room. After two rounds of drinks and much cajoling, I finally did persuade them to at least try Thai food at my local restaurant - with the promise that I'd take them home instantly any time they wished.

On arrival, they sat at the wooden table expressing a mix of utter dejection and intense fear, much like that of poor wretches about to be executed. Signs of cautious enjoyment appeared however when the aromas of our food order reached their noses, and relaxed if reluctant nods followed as they began to sample the rich, wonderful tastes. Laughter joined in as an adjoining table of jolly Thai students sent us over glasses of local "Mekhong" whisky to accompany our Thai beer, and all duly stood up charmingly to give us regular toasts, ensuring our maximum indulgence in the copious supply of spirits, which generously just kept on arriving. The previously stuffy Brits were suddenly convivial, charming company. The dinner turned into a huge, hilarious success.

Out on the street, with the now smiling pair metamorphosed into merriment, it was easy to coax them into a coasting "Tuk Tuk", Bangkok's open-sided three wheeled taxi. Seconds later, we were roaring three-up through the traffic to enjoy a great evening in the city's night spots, with the couple waving to all and sundry, and all and sundry happily waving back - in a way that only happens in Thailand.

As a finale, I took them to the Erawan shrine, a small open place of worship dedicated to a Brahman God, situated at Rajaprasong, one of the city's busiest intersections in Pratunam.

In this incense-filled microcosm of Asia, the roar of the traffic was curiously muted by the music from the small Thai orchestra performing at one side. As we sat down to observe, dancers and worshippers obscured our view to the street outside. Offerings of sweet-smelling garlands, stacked up over the hours, rose higher than our heads. Although I had been there countless times, there was something undeniably special about this particular evening, something, perhaps, even verging on the mystical. The lady's very emotional voice suddenly interrupted my thoughts: "I have never experienced anything as wonderful as this" she was saying, over and over again. I looked over, and saw she was in tears. Her husband wasn't too far away from the same emotion. Two more Bangkok addicts were thus born. And it happens every day.

It is perhaps this undeniably magical quality of "Krungthep" as it is called by the Thais, that becomes so compelling - the unexpected experience in a relatively unattractive city, when the world freezes in a moment of arresting, unforgettable beauty.

Certainly, if the rough translation if its official name (which happens to be the longest place name in the world, and thus occupies a section in the Guinness Book of Records) is anything to go by, this is no ordinary spot on the globe:

Great city of angels, the supreme repository of divine jewels, the great land unconquerable, the grand and prominent realm, the royal and delightful capital city full of nine noble gems, the highest royal dwelling and grand palace, the divine shelter and living place of reincarnated spirits.

In other words - what better place for a fascinating holiday? Or a place to do business?

Beware of "Other Magic"

Before venturing out to experience the city, visitors should remember this fact:

Bangkok is home to some of the most charming confidence tricksters in the world.  They are out there in significant numbers at the main tourist sites, or in front of your hotel, waiting. They are usually well-spoken, and utterly convincing. Scores of otherwise intelligent tourists become their hapless victims every day, often "magically" parting with large amounts of money, and wondering for the rest of their life how they could have been so gullible.

Even long experienced travellers have been cheated by these ingenious rogues, and people who read this kind of warning yet still fell for the scam, can only mumble things like "I know, I read it, understood it, but these people were so nice, seemed so genuine - I just never thought......"

The technique employs a string of "friendly" people, the first contact often carrying fake but convincing papers introducing him as a university professor, a Thai Airways pilot, a police chief etc. In the eyes of the visitor therefore, he is a "genuine local Thai" and theoretically, interesting to get to know. This leads to a succession of other seemingly accidental encounters, inevitably ending in a jeweller's shop to take advantage of a once-only "special discount" on precious stones. At this visually impressive but disreputable establishment, other enthusiastic "buyers" - often foreigners employed by the crooks - reinforce the scam, and the trap springs in the expectation of a bargain purchase, or a large profit when the (worthless) stones are resold back home.

There are many variations on the above, plus other clever scams. You will be safe if you remember the Golden Rule:

Local people are basically shy, and reserved. No honest Thai person will approach you directly in a public place to offer unsolicited help, sightseeing tips, or advice.

If this happens (and it is very likely when you visit tourist sites) politely ignore the person - or enter into a conversation at your peril. He is a con man.

Dressing the part

There is a curious tendency for tourists all over the world to dress as though they might be appearing in a circus, and Bangkok is not a city that suffers such ostentation gladly. Apart from teenagers influenced by Western trends, most Thai people dress conservatively and well. A tourist who appears in public attired like a clown will silently be judged to be one. "Smart casual" is the order of the day. Garish or revealing attire should be reserved strictly for the beach.  Ladies should avoid bare shoulders, and low dresses. Shorts are not recommended for either sex, except at the seaside or the tennis court.

Getting Around

For those lucky enough to live in Bangkok 30-odd years ago - then a city with beautiful tree-lined canals and hardly a tourist in sight - the idea of a Mass Transit System was just the stuff of wishful drinking in local bars. In those halcyon days of bobbing boats and creaking buses, public transportation gave little indication of a high-tech future. Taxis were rusting relics, where wise passengers held the passenger door in place to prevent possible fall out en route. Air conditioned cabs were an unthinkable luxury, as was the vision of an elevated rail system snaking its way through the disorganised jungle of city structures. A Tube, London style, was considered 'impossible' since according to the experts, regular flooding and the muddy clay soil of the Thai capital precluded any underground railway. "Subway - no way" was the saying.

Decades passed, and apart from each successive governmental promising to 'definitely do something about the traffic problem' nothing happened, except that the lovely canals slowly surrendered to roads, huge numbers of vehicles poured on to them every year, and the situation became increasingly hopeless. 

But what a difference technology, an economic boom, political will, and a quarter of a century can make. Bangkok now boasts both a Skytrain, and a Subway (Metro) the latter of standards which puts the London Underground to shame. "Tony Blair should come and see this" I overheard an admiring English tourist say. He should indeed.

The Skytrain (Mapped as the Green Line) and The Metro (Mapped as the Blue Line) will be further extended, and together they mark the beginning of the ambitious Bangkok Rail Transit Network, which, together with the State Railways, will link most main suburban centres, including a fast rail service with the new Suvarnabhumi International Airport, scheduled to open in 2007.

The BTS Skytrain

The elevated Skytrain solved most of its logistical problems by being built directly above the main city centre roads of Silom and Sukhumvit, and the two lines are named after them with an interchange at Siam Centre (Siam) To minimise chaos, the hundreds of huge spans were pre-cast outside the city, with the resulting jigsaw of segments trucked into place over many months in the middle of the night. Local people would wake up to darkened pavements outside, ugly concrete structures began to obstruct familiar skylines, and purists progressively puffed their disapproval.

But when the system opened on the 5th December 1999, the King's 72nd birthday, a wave of pride swept the city as the sleek air-conditioned carriages began to glide gracefully above the traffic jams an average of 14 metres below. Destinations which before could take hours now took minutes on the electric trains running quietly on welded tracks, and serving some of the most congested areas in the Thai capital.

This US$1.3 billion so-called Bangkok Mass Transit System (BTS) Skytrain or Rot Fai Fah ("train in the sky") in Thai, is a must-see, must-try visitor attraction in its own right. It provides comprehensive tourist information, maps, excursions, souvenirs and gifts, and even internet facilities at the BTS Tourist Information Centers (open daily from 8.00 am to 8.00 pm Siam, Nana and Saphan Taksin stations).

This comes in addition to the total of over 23 kilometres of excellent, user-friendly transportation, running efficiently from 6am to midnight at an average speed of 35 kph - slow enough to absorb the fascinating ever-changing views. The driver announces the upcoming station name in Thai and English just before the train arrives. Fares depend on distance, currently 10-40 Baht. There are a variety of packaged ticketing options, but the best bet for sightseeing is the 1-day unlimited travel pass, at present costing 100 baht. The 23 Skytrain stations are enhanced by pleasingly creative designs, and equipped with many thoughtful facilities, including a first aid room. Unless you have a helicopter, there is no better way to view the city.

The Skytrain has three interchange stations with the "Metro" or Bangkok Underground, and to top off the convenience, free shuttle buses link several stations with key destinations in the respective areas. Escalators are planned at all stations. At present however, some of the smaller stations are accessible by staircase only. The most popular stops for visitors are as follows:

Asoke
For the Siam Society research library and Khamtieng House, an old Chiang Mai residence. For shoppers: Robinson Department Store, and Times Square.
Interchange here with Underground Sukhumvit station

Chidlom: A convenient shop-stop, with walkway connections to Central Department store, Amarin Plaza, Gaysorn Plaza Central, Central World Plaza, and the fascinating Erawan Shrine.

National Stadium: A short walk brings you to the huge and fascinating chaos of Mahboonkrong Centre or MBK, with its bewildering buy-anything bargain stalls. The closest station to Jim Thompson's house, located in a small lane opposite the Stadium.

Phrom Pong: Linked to a large elegant department store - the Emporium - which offers hours of shopping and recreational possibilities.

Phya Thai: Alight here to visit Suan Pakkad Palace

Victory Monument: Busy, crowded shopping area mainly used by locals.

Morchit:   The stop for the huge weekend market of Chatuchak, with its extraordinary kaleidoscope of products. Go early to beat the heat.
Interchange here with Underground Chatuchak station

Siam: (Change here for the Skytrain Silom Line) A trendy shopping area with a walkway into Siam Centre shopping mall, leading out to the maze of smaller shops in Siam Square's lanes and alleyways. Also close to this station, cinemas, bookstores, and The British Council.

Saladang: Linked to Central Department store's Silom Road branch, this area offers a wide variety of shopping by day, and is packed with roadside stalls at night. It is the closest station to Pat Pong night market and entertainment area. Interchange here with Underground Silom Station

Saphan Taksin
This terminal station links to ferries on the Chao Phraya River, with convenient connections to the "Chaophya Express" boats that go northwards to the jetties serving the Grand Palace area (Tha Maharat, Tha Tien, Tha Chang or Tha Phra Chan) Alighting at Thai Tien jetty gives you access to a smaller ferry boat to visit Wat Arun across the river. 

The MRT Bangkok Metro Underground

The 'impossible' became a reality in April 2004. It had taken seven years to build, comprising 21 kilometres of bored tunnels, with 18 simultaneously-built stations, using top-down techniques up to 30 metres deep under the city's major roads. The cost was approximately US$ 2.75 billion.

Officially called the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) and in Thai as rot fai fah mahanakhon ("metropolitan electric train") or more often as the rot fai tai din ("underground train") the line operates from 5am to midnight, and extends in a wide loop from the main railway station of Hualumpong, then tracks back via the Queen Sirikit National Convention Centre to the smaller rail station of Bang Sue (pronounce Seu) to the north.

It has interchanges with the Skytrain at Si Lom, Sukhumvit and Chatuchak Park stations. To protect against periodic flooding, station entrances are elevated above ground, and equipped with built-in floodgates. To prevent accidents and suicides, a glassed-in Automatic Platform Screen Door separates the platform and track, and opens only when the trains pull in and stop. All stations feature lifts and ramps for disabled people.

As with the Skytrain, there are a number of ticket types, which only need to be held close to the ticket barriers to operate them, thanks to a proximity sensor. Tokens are used for single journeys. An unlimited 1 day go-as-you please travel ticket currently costs Baht 120.  A joint ticketing system for the Subway and Skytrain is planned.

The Main Bangkok Subway Stations.
(Bracketed figures indicate the depth underground)

Hua Lamphong (14 metres)  Bangkok's main railway station serving all provinces. Permanent and interesting exhibition here about the Subway, and Thai transportation.

Silom (30 metres)  Major shopping area, close to Robinson and Central Department Stores. Walking distance to the nightlife and street market area of Patpong.
Interchange with Saladaeng Skytrain station

Lumphini (26 metres) Close to the Suan Lum Night Market, the Lumpini Thai Boxing Stadium and to several foreign missions, including the Australian, Austrian, Belgian, Danish, French and German Embassies.

Queen Sirikit Convention Center (17 metres) Bangkok's main venue for exhibitions and trade shows.

Sukhumvit (17 metres)  Robinson Department Store and 'Soi Cowboy' nightlife area nearby.
Interchange with the Asoke Skytrain station.

Phetburi (20 metres) Close to the Japanese Embassy at the junction of Phetchburi Road and Asoke.

Rama 9 (18 metres) Fortune Town shopping centre, IT Mall and Tesco Lotus.

Thai Cultural Center (19 metres) Close to Chinese Embassy, Carrefour, and Robinson Department Stores

Chatuchak (17 metres) This is Chatuchak Park, not the famous weekend market, which is the next stop.
Interchange with the Morchit Skytrain station.

Kamphaengphet (17 metres) The stop for Chatuchak Weekend Market, and the "Farmers Market" - excellent and inexpensive fruit and vegetable produce here.

Bang Sue (12 metres) Suburban State Railway station, located between Hua Lamphong main station and Don Muang Airport.

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